


Pop and Puffs

by SoonerOrLater



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anxiety, Family History, Fluff, Hangover, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Relationship Development, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25688938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoonerOrLater/pseuds/SoonerOrLater
Summary: David has a hangover, Patrick comes to help him out. He learns a bit more about Rose family history in the process.Just a little sweet post-episode moment that wandered into my head one Sunday morning.Post Episode 'The Dress' (Series 5 Episode 4)
Relationships: David Rose/Patrick Brewer
Comments: 8
Kudos: 137





	Pop and Puffs

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to Schitt's Creek and at the time of writing have only seen a couple of Episodes beyond this so apologies if anything later contradicts this! 
> 
> This show has also brought me back to Fic after years of hiatus...so dipping a toe in with a little fluff.

The door clicked open sending a shard of light across the motel room.

‘Ugh go away’ David moaned pulling the duvet over his head and burrowing like a hamster, or maybe a Groundhog. Patrick didn’t really know. Some kind of small rodent anyway. 

‘Fine. I will then’ he said. Not actually moving from the door. 

David’s head- or at least part of it, one eye and a bit of hair, emerged from the duvet. ‘Oh. I thought you were Alexis, and my last words to her were ‘Go and bother Ted and leave me to die’

‘You didn’t die yet then?’ Patrick shut the door with a soft, but deliberate bang which earned him a scowl from the half a face still visible. ‘And I know, she came by the store on her way to bother Ted.’

He plonked himself heavily on the end of David’s bed and David groaned loudly, pulling the duvet back over his head. 

Fourteen shots’ Patrick said, and David could hear the smirk in his voice even without seeing his face. ‘I’m impressed, I mean at your age too’ he fought the urge to respond as David kicked him. 

‘Alexis is dead to me’’ David muttered into his pillow. 

‘Oh no we have Stevie to thank for that’ Patrick said smiling again, ‘She came in and gave me a full report first thing. She looked very pleased with herself I must say’

‘She looked pleased because she scored with the blogger man’ the duvet replied. 

‘Yes, I did manage to decipher that from your texts last night’

The duvet groaned. ‘Did I say anything terrible?’

Patrick got out his phone and scrolled through. ‘No not really, you’re quite the affectionate drunk, and surprisingly eloquent, some of these could even be classed as love letters’

‘I hate you’ 

‘You love me’

‘Not right now’

‘Of course the real gem is being reminded how much you love Mariah’ Patrick’s phone burst into life with a fairly tuneless rendition of ‘Hero’ that pierced through even the layers of the duvet. David lunged for it with the speed of a dog spotting sausages on a barbeque….and instantly regretted his speed as his head felt like it was about to split open, and the remains of last night’s ‘Bar Special’ threatened to make a return. He leaned heavily on Patrick for a moment, waiting for the room to stop spinning, last night’s dinner to return to his stomach and Mariah to be quiet. 

‘Well Stevie is certainly going to regret sending you THAT’

‘Them. There were several gems. I liked your new friend, she could really sing.’ 

David buried his head in Patrick’s arm and groaned. 

‘Ok I take pity on you in your terrible state’ Patrick muted the phone and put it away, ‘But I am keeping those videos’ he patted the top of his head much like you would a child and David growled softly.

‘I hate you. No I hate Alexis. No I hate Stevie. And shots.’ 

‘Do you want my hangover supplies or not?’ David huffed and Patrick shoved him vertically- slowly and gently. And had to smile at the screwed up expression of pain he was rewarded with. 

He leaned forward and rummaged in the Rose Apothecary bag he’d brought with him. ‘Now I can promise none of these were from the store, because frankly we don’t sell anything filthy enough for a hangover’

‘Filthy?’ David raised an eyebrow. 

‘Behave.’ Patrick smirked ‘Also as if you’re in any state to be filthy right now’

‘I’ll have you know I could-’ David stopped himself mid sentence ‘No, no you are absolutely right I would either throw up or pass out on you’

‘What a charming image.’

‘You know what I mean’ 

‘No, no, I’m a lucky man really’

‘I’m very delicate’

‘Really so lucky’

‘What’s in the bag?’ 

Patrick gave him a look that clearly said this wasn’t over. But reached into the bag, and produced a lurid orange bag. ‘Cheese puffs and generic cola-drink’

David furrowed his brows again. 

‘Alexis’ Patrick shrugged. 

‘Pop and Puffs’ David smiled, then winced as somehow smiling hurt. 

‘Excuse me?’ Patrick said. 

‘Pop and Puffs’ David said, taking the bottle of lukewarm soda from him and opening it, letting the air escape slowly. ‘We had a Nanny for a while, I think Mom was away for the Summer on some shoot, and Dad was wherever Dad was...anyway this Nanny was British, or Irish, or something. And she called soda ‘Pop’ and she was obsessed with cheese puffs…’

‘Pop and Puffs’ Patrick smiled. ‘That’s almost cute enough to not be intimidated by the fact you had a Nanny’ 

‘Oh we had several. You think anyone wanted to look after me and Alexis for very long?’ David reached over and took the cheese puffs, and attempted to open them, failing he huffed and collapsed forward. ‘Actually we didn’t that much, they were around when we were little and then sort of...left us to it’

‘I remember that feeling’ Patrick said, taking the cheese puff bag and opening it, holding it out while David took a handful, filling his cheeks like a hamster and chewing. ‘But Puff and Pops that’s good’. David swigged from the bottle and offered it to Patrick who shook his head.

‘Your parents ‘left you to it’’ David asked. 

‘Sure, as a teenager, they had work, they figured how much trouble could I get into between school and home...actually turns out quite a lot’

David raised an eyebrow between handfuls of cheese puffs.

‘But today is about you. Not my misspent youth’ Patrick smiled a little sadly David thought. ‘Drink more’ 

David complied. Feeling the sugar and carbs start to hit his stomach and feeling a little more human. As long as he didn’t move too fast. Or think too hard. Patrick watched David, enjoying a rare moment of quiet. 

‘It’s not sophisticated, but it seems to work’ he smiled, a bit proud of himself. 

He got a sudden far away look on his face, and put the cheese puffs down, pulling the duvet back around him. 

‘What?’ Patrick asked. 

‘Nothing. Just...hangover, my head it’s all’ he made some kind of gesture under the duvet. 

‘David’ 

He screwed up his face ‘Patrick’ 

Patrick fixed him with a look which may or may not have said ‘I’ll confiscate the cheese puffs if you don’t tell me’

David shuffled forward in his duvet cocoon and figited a bit. 

‘You know it would make it easier for me to reassuringly hold you hand if you came out of that thing’ Patrick said, ‘That and it’s got to be 30 degrees in here’

‘Dad was trying to fix the water boiler, I think he’s killed the thermostat as well’

‘He should’ve said, I could have helped him with that.’

David’s face burst into a lopsided grin. 

‘What?’

‘Is there nothing you can’t do?’ 

‘Plenty.’ Patrick leaned over and planted a kiss on David’s forehead ‘Jesus you’re boiling, come on out of it’ he wrestled the duvet and David out of their cocoon and leant back against the headboard, patting the bed next to him. Scowling, David moved up and rested a head on Patrick’s shoulder, groaning loudly as he did so. 

‘That’ll teach you to mix shots and rum’

‘How did you-’

‘Again Stevie. Turns out she memorised your bar tab to torture you with forevermore’

David huffed slightly and they sat in silence for a moment. 

‘I don’t actually remember the rum’

David felt Patrick laugh even though he didn’t make any noise. He felt for his hand under the tangle of covers that now half covered them, and squeezed. 

‘David’

‘It’s just the hangover’

‘Nothing to do with the dress then?’ 

David sat straight up and instantly regretted it. The world started swimming and there were definitely more than one of Patrick for a moment. He felt something rising in his throat and swallowed hard, closing his eyes. As he did so Patrick pressed the bottle of now almost flat soda into his hand. He took a begrudging sip and opened his eyes. 

‘Did you just want to talk to Alexis about this instead of me?’

‘David, she didn’t say anything.’ David shot him a look and took another swig. ‘Well she said you were feeling delicate- which I already knew from Stevie- and that you’d just about stayed conscious to see your Mom’s premiere dress.’

‘So what makes you think that has anything to do with ...well anything.’

Patrick ate a cheese puff thoughtfully, and quickly as David snatched them from him. ‘Well I just thought, that you might be feeling a little, what’s the word not sulky, more, sorry for yourself that your life was no longer...you know dresses and premieres and whatever glamorous stuff you got up to before...and to be honest well…’

He paused and looked down, adjusting the duvet pooled over his jeans, picking at a strand of the dark blue embroidery. 

David waved the cheese puffs at him, ‘Well…’

‘Well honestly, I thought you might be thinking how much better those days were and I’d better get over here and remind you I’m a pretty ok boyfriend before you started wondering who you might be better off with back in that world.’ He paused, still looking down at the duvet ‘Of course then I got over here, saw the state of you and realised I probably don’t need to worry about people fighting me for you right this second.’ he took a cheese puff, ‘Still I thought you might need reminding that...this life is ok sometimes too right?’

David shifted- slower this time- so he could sit up and look at Patrick. Still the world spun a bit too much. He took a deep breath. 

‘Take a cheese puff’ Patrick complied ‘Take a swig of pop’ Patrick complied. ‘And listen when I say to you, I promise you none of those people from that life want me like you want me. And I don’t want them.’

Patrick nodded. More thoughtful, and more worried than he’d given himself credit for. David put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, then leaned in, possibly more to stop himself falling over than as any gesture of comfort, but it was reassuring nonetheless. They sat for a moment until Patrick offered the cheese puffs over his shoulder and felt David laugh. The way to his heart was as ever with food, and possibly the way to whatever was really bothering him. He crunched loughly in Patrick’s ear and he gently batted him off. They sat for a few moments sharing cheese puffs between them, David steadily swigging pop in the well rehearsed manner of a man desperately trying to conquer a hangover, who knows he’s fighting a losing battle. 

‘It’s gorgeous. This rose-gold, sequined feathered gown’ 

‘Yes, it sounds...well actually I can’t picture it, but I trust you’ 

David offered him an amused but pitying grin ‘I am resigned to fashion being lost on you’ before Patrick could formulate a hurt expression he leaned forward the fraction between them and kissed him lightly. Patrick leaned back in and David reciprocated for a moment before pulling back and bracing himself on his shoulder. ‘Nope. No. Too much motion’ 

Patrick chuckled, ‘Too hungover to kiss is one hell of a milestone to reach. Must come with age’ David glared, but squeezed the shoulder he was leaning on. And took another swig of pop.

‘Recovered?’

‘Lets not get ahead of ourselves’ he exhaled. ‘Anyway, the gown is everything, it’s gorgeous, it’s subtly on brand-’

‘The rose gold and the feathers, I got that’

‘I’m so proud.’

Patrick gave a small smile of pride and nodded at him to continue. 

‘It’s a beautiful gown. And buying the gown is what she does, for a premiere. I used to go with her- Lord knows someone has to supervise that before she goes off at the deep end sometimes- I mean you’ve seen’ David widened his eyes and held out a hand. 

‘She is quite something your Mom’ Patrick said. 

‘She is.’ David said, ‘And, she is. She’s good at being ‘Moira Rose’ and that probably sounds ridiculous to you. She may not be the most gifted actress ever- and tell her I said that and she’ll kill us both- but she is the very best at being Moria Rose.’ David bowed his head, took a swig of Soda. ‘This sounds stupid. All this...my family isn’t, well normal I am aware.’ 

Patrick took David’s hand, letting him know it was ok to carry on. 

‘I know how people look at her with the wigs and the dresses and all that and how they think she must have been that Mom, but she wasn’t, she was always working. Not because she had to but because she loved it. I mean she loves the attention too.’

‘Doesn’t at all run in the family’ Patrick squeezed David’s hand to let him know he was teasing. 

‘Exactly. When she married Dad she could have just done the Housewife thing. She could have been that Mom. Not that being a Mother was ever her strongest role.’

‘I think she did ok’ 

David frowned at him. 

‘Well, despite your...eccentricities, you and Alexis are pretty good people I’d say.’ he paused ‘Pretty nice people even’

David bit his lip and smiled at Patrick. He shrugged and took another long drink. 

‘Maybe she wasn’t winning Mom of the year when Alexis and I were little, but once I got older I saw what she was doing out there and...well…’

‘You were proud of her’

‘And’

‘And you wanted her to have it again’

‘Just for a minute.’ David closed his eyes ‘I don’t say it often enough, because I don’t always want it to be true, but this has been good for us all.’

‘But?’

David opened his eyes. ‘Not buts for me I promise.’ he leaned in-slowly and kissed Patrick in what he hoped was a reassuring way. ‘But I sometimes wish she could have it back. She still misses it more than the rest of us’

'I get that' Patrick mused, 'And maybe she will, you know maybe this movie is the one...you'll be back to premieres and rose gold before you know it'

'You have heard the description of this movie right?' David said incredulously. 'I'm supportive, I'm not stupid' 

'Stranger things have happend' Patrick mused, 'Maybe it'll be back to New York, or L.A or whatever before you know it.'

'Oh God.'

'I mean if that's what you want'

'Oh God cheese puffs' David bolted from the bed and to the bathroom, with no time to shut the door as the cheese puffs mixed with cola made an unwelcome return. 

'Patrick!' he called out pathetically. 

'Coming' Patrick said abandoning the cheese puffs on the table. 

'I'm dying'

'You're dramatic'

He felt like the world was never going to stop spinning. And the cold, somewhat sticky, bathroom floor was the only thing helping. UNtil a fresh wave of nausea hit. He hauled himself up to the toilet, just as a fresh wave of cheese puffs made a reappearance. Long after his stomach was empty he was dry heaving over the toilet and felt a cold pressure on his neck, and a hand on his shoulder. 

‘You’re alright’ Patrick said, wiping the flannel across David’s neck. He doubled forward again, still trying to rid his body of whatever else was in it. Exhausted he flopped against the wall, his hair cascading forward from it’s normal quiff into his eyes. Patrick smirked at him. 

‘Shut up’

‘I said nothing.’ 

David narrowed his eyes again and Patrick gestured for him to come back to him. He glared for a moment more before sighing and flopping into his arms and lap heavily. Patrick moved David’s hair back to its, if not natural, then default position. 

‘You don’t normally get sick with a hangover’ he mused, playing with the now damp strands of hair on David’s forehead as he wiped with the cloth. 

‘How do you know?’ David muttered. 

‘Because’ Patrick smirked and David could hear it, ‘You’re actually one hell of a lightweight, and two glasses of red give you a hangover, one beer does and it’s always a raging headache which I pretend not to see you taking your Mom’s pills for’ David snorted, then clearly regretted it, grabbing his stomach and wincing. Patrick patted the cool cloth down a bit harder. 

‘Maybe’ he muttered. 

‘So maybe’ Patrick mused, ‘You also ate something that hasn’t agreed with you.’

David groaned. ‘The curry’

‘There it is’ Patrick said. 

‘Wait you knew?’ David tried to be indignant but was too exhausted. Then the penny dropped ‘The room service’

‘Stevie’ Patrick answered. ‘I think her exact words were ‘look out for 12 hours later’ and...right on queue’

David groaned. Sat up, contemplated if anything was making its way back up, and flopped dramatically back into Patrick’s lap. 

‘Oof’ Patrick braced himself against the impact ‘Do you think you should get back into bed then?’ In response David turned over, head buried somewhere in Patrick’s lap and stomach. ‘No, ok then guess not’ 

Patrick heard something like ‘just five minutes’ muttered into his shirt, and resumed holding the cloth as soon as David shifted his head again. 

A while later the room semi-dark and David asleep in his lap, Patrick heard the door in the adjoining room open. Moments later light spilled into the room just out of his eyeline. 

‘Kids? Kids?’ Moria’s voice pierced through the darkness. He heard her huff, assuming there was nobody there. 

‘Mrs Rose?’ Patrick said gently, leaning slightly so she could see him. 

‘Patrick!’ she exclaimed, well you gave me quite the fright, lurking there on the floor’ her brain seemed to catch up as she made her way to the door ‘David!’ she exclaimed and Patrick pressed a finger to his lips. 

‘He’s fine, hungover and something didn’t agree with him so we’re...here.’

Moira raised an eyebrow ‘Curry?’

Patrick smiled. ‘Yes.’

Moria shook her head ‘When will that boy ever learn’

‘I’d say his judgement was impaired after the 14 shots’

‘And the rum.’

‘Stevie?’

‘Alexis’ Moria winked conspiratorially. ‘Are you two planning on staying there all night?’

Patrick shrugged ‘Seemed a shame to wake him up. Actually have you ever tried waking David up? It doesn’t end well.’

Moria smiled, ‘Oh yes. The teenage years were not mornings I relished. Or evenings. Or weekends. Well let’s just say he wasn’t a del-ight back then.’

Patrick gave her a smile ‘I’m sure.’ she caught his eyes flick down just before David stirred, as if he had some kind of sixth sense for it, and almost unconsciously he dapped the flannel at her son’s head. She found herself frowning. 

‘Mrs Rose...Mrs Rose’ he was speaking to her again. 

‘Sorry dear what?’

‘I said are you ok, you looked a little… well something’

‘Sorry dear I get a little wist-ful sometimes thinking of the children when they were younger.’ 

Patrick smiled at her, that charming grin she could see was irresistible. ‘I get that.’ he smiled again. ‘By the way David said you looked beautiful in your dress earlier.’

Moria grinned down at him. ‘Well of COURSE he did.’ a beat as she frowned ‘Did he?’

‘Of course’ Patrick offered, ‘I can’t wait to see the pictures at the premiere’

‘Sweet’ she said, looking a little downcast Patrick thought, then visibly picked herself back up ‘Sooner this year rather than later we are hop-ful!’ she flashed him a grin. 

‘I can’t wait Mrs Rose. David has told me so much about your acting, I will be first in line to buy tickets’

‘Sweet boy.’ She looked down at them again, crumpled in a heap on the dingy linoleum, ‘I think we can drop the Mrs Rose for Moria now Patrick’ 

He nodded ‘Moira. Anyway, I'm looking forward to it. And seeing the dress’ 

‘As you should be, it will be quite something. Once I get the correct shoes of course. Getting anything in this town is such an effort!’ she chuckled half to herself, and stepped back. ‘Anyway, I should leave you two to…’ she gestured in their direction. 

‘I’ll get him to bed soon’ Patrick said. 

Moira turned to go and noticed the cheese puff packet on the floor. ‘Cheese puffs!’ she exclaimed. ‘I haven’t seen these in years...the kids went through such a phase of them. All I heard about’ she popped one into her mouth ‘Ugh, is this even food?’

‘Great hangover cure’ Patrick offered. 

‘Kill or cure I suppose!’ Moira said eating another ‘Though they get better’ she chewed, musing ‘It was when I took them to Lon-don with me for a summer, they came to set with me on Zombies Take London- amazing film, critically criminally underrated of course- but they’d ask me for these and ‘pop’ on the way home every day, the little minxes, as if they hadn’t been raiding Kraft Services all day while watching me on set!’ she smiled ‘What a laugh that summer was, Johnny even took two weeks off to be with us, do all the tourist stuff...David was ten I think’ she picked up the bag ‘Anyway, a little snack I think...John will be back soon, he’ll get a kick out these!’ She walked towards the door, and at the last moment turned and came up to the bathroom door looking down at Patrick, still holding David’s head in his lap, flannel in hand. 

‘Mrs-I mean Moria?’ he asked looking up at her. 

‘I’ve never seen anyone mop my Son’s brow before.’ she said with a raised eyebrow. 

‘It’s what you do.’ Patrick said, ‘Isn’t it?’

‘Is it?’ Moria asked. 

‘For the ones you love’ Patrick said, absently stroking David’s hair back looking down at him with what Moria could only describe as devotion. For her foolish son and his hangover when he should know better. 

‘I don’t think he’s ever found that out before’

‘Well he will now. I promise Mrs Rose’ Patrick instinctively pulled David a little tighter into his lap. And caught Moria’s smile. She went to walk away but spun back as if something just occurred to her. 

‘He looks like his Father- which means he’ll have a good head of hair for a long time you’re lucky. But that one is more like me than any of us like to admit.’ she looked for a second worried. 

‘Well then I’d say I’m lucky on both counts’ Patrick said looking up at her and smiling. 

‘I think so’ she said with a lopsided smile that for the first time reminded Patrick so much of David’s, and left, clicking the door shut. 

For a moment there was silence. Patrick was aware his legs were starting to lose all feeling but he wasn’t ready to move yet. 

‘She’s right. And I never say that’

‘You’re awake?’

A nod, felt not seen. 

‘You fucking-’

‘Is that any way to speak to someone in my condition?’

‘You’re hungover not pregnant’

‘Aren’t I?’

‘I hate you’

‘I love you’

That stopped Patrick dead in his insults. Although he had said it, and now more than once, verbalising it was not something David did. Patrick looked down at him, he’d shifted now to be looking up at him, they both smiled a big dopey grin of idiots in love when they locked eyes. 

Patrick leaned down and kissed him lightly. When he pulled back David was frowning. 

‘What?’

‘You kissed me’

Patrick shrugged ‘Yeah?’

‘But I taste of vomit, and cheese puffs and-’

Patrick leaned down and kissed him again. David’s face crumpled a little and he looked like he could cry. But instead offered him a lopsided grin bigger than his Mom’s but very clearly of the same intention. 

‘Ok’ Patrick put an arm under David’s and began what turned into a slow, awkward, and somewhat painful process of hauling him to his feet. There was a lot of David- limbs and still somehow several layers of clothing despite the heat, and the vomit. But eventually they both hauled to their feet and staggered the few more feet to the bed. Patrick tucked David in, or at least piled the mess of blankets back over him. And sat on the end of the bed. 

‘How much of that did you hear?’

‘All of it,’ the pile of blankets said. And then a pause ‘Thank you’ David added. 

‘For what?’ Patrick asked to the darkness.

‘What you said to her.’

In the dark David knew he shrugged. Because to him it was nothing. It was just how you were to people. Effortlessly charming and kind. That wasn’t how they had ever been. ‘It meant a lot.’ he said. He felt a hand on his foot. 

‘Get some sleep’

‘You aren’t staying?’ 

‘It’s a single bed...and you are no fun when you’re hungover’ 

‘You still came though’

‘I still came’

‘And you kissed me. Vomit and all’

‘That I did. Though I may be slightly regretting that choice now’ David could see the face he was making even though he couldn’t. He felt the weight of Patrick on him as he kissed his cheek. 

‘Nobody has ever done this for me before’ David said softly. 

‘More fool them’ Patrick said, then leaned in closer and whispered ‘Maybe stop at six shots next time’ 

David half groaned half laughed as Patrick kissed his cheek once more and stood up. 

‘Goodnight David’

‘Goodnight Patrick’

He let the door click softly behind him and smiled. Sometimes the hangover was worth it. He got exactly 6 steps from the door before he was turning around, clicking the door open, kicking his shoes off and squeezing into a single bed under a mess of blankets, about to slowly bake all night. 

Under the covers, trying not to move his head too much David smiled a lopsided grin and pulled Patrick a bit closer to him. 

‘Sometimes the hangover is worth it.’ he said. 

‘Is that so?’ Patrick muttered in return. 

‘Mmm hmm’

‘Go to sleep’


End file.
